| Hi, My name is Rb, and today I'd like to talk about...is what are the things that make people happy? You know, if someone really did an audit of his life, what would he find? What are the top ten things that make someone happy? For me, I can think of two- I mean, it struck me when I was at the barbershop today, and normally they have three guys, but today there were two. One of the barbers was at the hospital with his wife because she was giving birth. Now, to fill in, they had another barber there, Mike. Mike told me he had this idea that although his normal barber shop was in Newark, he wanted to tear down the walls and have four barbers in the barber shop.
"You know what I'd really like to do is tear down that wall over there and cut hair. So there'd be four barbers here."
I thought about it for a minute, and I realized something. "Mike, if you do that, it's going to work out really well for me." *emphasis on "me"
He looked at me in a sort of cockeyed sort of way.
"Well you see, I'm not going to have that sense of desperation any more."
And his brows furrowed, and he said, "well, I wouldn't want you to have a sense of desperation, sir." *deep voice*
"well, you know why I get that sense of desperation, Mike? It's because people just don't realize how important a haircut is."
His scissors stopped shearing. I think he was trying to figure out if I was stoned, the way he peered at my eyeballs.
"You know Mike, it's like this: a haircut is one of life's most basic satisfactions."
This time, he continued. I was sure he thought I was flattering him. It was my first cut with him, and he thought I was playing it up. And of course, I flatter really well, I flatter a lot, but let me tell you - I'm not flattering you when your scissors are taking every care to put splendor atop my head.
I soldiered on. "Mike, if you look at ten things in your functional, day to day life that give you similar happiness
it's like..." here, I paused, searching for just the right words. I could see I'd lost him somewhere between this guy is flattering me to this guy is stoned...got it.
Eating skittles. when you first eat skittles, you get that chewiness, that tangy sweetness, that tartness all at once, and you're like oh my goodness, this is a force of good in my life.
And a similar thing happens when you get a haircut. you go in there like a wooly mammoth, and you come back out with just the perfect amount of hair, the perfect style, and if your barber has a sense of aesthetics, then you have the perfect sense of self.
and that's what people should look into. now with this down economy, we have this problem having to spend less to get the same happiness. you can't just go and buy that plasma tv.
instead, get a haircut.
Or, eat skittles.
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I normally frequent. So, I was like okay, that's interesting, but... you know I thought about for a minute, and I realized something that you know that if Mike does that, and I told him, that Mike, you know if you become the fourth barber here, it's going to work out really well for me. he looked at me in a sort of cockeyed sort of way sort of confused, and I told him, well you see, I'm not going to have that sense of desperation any more. and his brows furrowed, and he said, "well I wouldn't want you to have a sense of desperation, sir,"
i told him, well, you know why i get that sense of desperation. it-it's because people just don't realize how important a haircut is. you know, as far as things on a per unit basis that give you that kind of satisfaction, how many things besides haircuts can give you that, and even that aside, when I get a haircut, it feels so good. what are the top ten things that really psychically affect people? one of them, haircuts.
then he looked at me.
then he said- i don't think he really believed me. i think he thought that i was playing it up, i was flattering him.
and of course, i flatter really well, and I flatter alot,...but i'm not flattering you when
you know mike, it's like this. getting a haircut is one of life's most basic ways of being satisfied. if you look at ten things in your functional life
it's like...eating skittles. when you first eat skittles, you get that chewiness, that tangy sweetness, that tartness all at once, and you're like oh my goodness, this is a force of good in my life.
And the same thing happens when you get a haircut. you go in there like a wooly mammoth, and you come back out with just the perfect amount of hair, the perfect style, and if your barber has a snese of aesthetics, then you have the perfect sense of self.
and that's what people should look into. now with this down economy, we have this problem having to spend less to get the same happiness. you can't just go and buy that plasma tv.
instead, get a haircut.
o, what we can all day is we can think about the ten things that really matter to us. and a lot of these things are going to be free, like orgasms. haircuts. i mean, you get one haircut,and you feel so good for so long, even for my fifteen dollar haircut, which my dad thinks is ludicrous bc he goes to an old tyme barbershop and gets his done for two dollars.
so the first thing to do in this economy is to figure out your top ten psychic pleasures.
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